The night before I was supposed to graduate I suddenly started having doubts and nightmares. I began wondering if I was part of the College of Education. What if my hood was the wrong color? What if I fell off stage in my high heels? What if i was late and they didn't let me in? I couldn't go to sleep so I dressed up in my graduation regalia- wore the Ritu's outfit i was supposed to wear, the robe, hood, cap, honor society cords. Then i walked around the house praticing my Miss Universe wave. I woke up my roommate at 2 am and told her that I was really excited and couldn't sleep and that I was worried that I would fall off the stage. Very sweetly she told me, "I am worried that if you don't go to sleep you will fall of the stage, so go to sleep."

I think my house is jinxed. I don't like living there. I never did. The only reason I continue to do so is because it puts a roof over my head. Once in a while I think that I should have just stayed in Roo Commons. I loved that appartment. I don't remember why we moved. I think it had something to do with the rent in Roo being too high and that some of us wanted to live in a house. Maybe I shouldn't say the house is jinxed. Maybe it has a ring of truth around it and living in it made everyone's true colors come out and shine. It was like the magnificent colors of death.
I was helping Megha move yesterday and I began to miss living in an appartment. Seeing how well renovated Judson House was made me feel like moving there myself. But moving is a pain!! Roo Commons used to be like that- very well maintained and safe to live in. Suddenly all kinds of people were moving in and breaking things. Trash was left in the hallways and the management did not do much maintaining after a while.
So maybe I am better off living where I am. But it doesn't make me feel any better. There have been times in the last two years when I would just sit in my car starring at this old house, knowing that I would have to go in and dreading it.
It wasn't always like that. WHen we decided to move out of Roo we spent alot of time house hunting. We had to find the right house with a reasonable rent to fit all our budgets. This house was probably the last one that we saw. There were 5 of us- 3 girls and 2 guys. We went to the upper level first since it had three rooms but none of us liked it and were ready to say so until we went downstairs. I walked into one of the rooms and knew that I wanted to stay there because of the fireplace. SO we girls took the lower level and the boys took the upper level. Some auspicious person said that it was bad luck living in that house because of the position of one of the trees. Everyone shrugged it off with a "whatever" attitude. Maybe we should have paid attention to these signs. But then again- who knows??!!!

I haven't been able to blog for more than a week now. I graduated on Saturday. Thank God!! I didn't fall off stage- thats another blog. And I am going to NY on Wed..... Hopefully will be able to blog soon..... Oh yeah!! My dad is in town..... I'm being spoilt rotten...... Joy!!!

"Men cheat for the same reason dogs lick their balls- because they can!! It's in their biology."
Samantha (Sex and the City)

ROADTRIP
Friday........... Left at 8am
Went to West Virginnia... (And before anyone decides to tell me about the jokes of West Virginnia I have heard all of them...... from incest and rednecks to Akron being the Capital of WV)
Who did I go with? This was a solo road trip and it was worth it....
Went to Charleston....... Just keeping following 77S and you find yourself in WV....
Used to listen to a country song about the River Ohio and always thought that it never existed... that this river was a figment of the singer's imagination..... Now I know it really does exist between Ohio and WV........ you have to cross a bridge over the Ohio to get into WV.... alot more fun than entering PA where you just see a sign saying "Welcome to Pennsylvannia"
Got to listen to country music... almost every single channel had country music on it.... That didn't bother me because I love country music....
Had to choose between Shania Twain and Faith Hill.... Chose Faith Hill.... She has a lovely voice and is not as nasal as Shania......
Heard "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks...... Meaningful song... I also heard a song by Julie Roberts but I can't remember the name....:(
Went to a mall in Downtown Charleston...... Reminded me of a mall in Dallas...
Charleston on the whole reminded me of Pittsburgh.... A little bit of the old combined with the new..... Nothing like I thought it would be based on the information I had before i left... I had the preconceived notion that I was going to be seeing strange people and trailer parks everywhere.... I'm glad it wasn't like that.... IT IS A CITY!!!
I enjoyed myself thoroughly...... I was going to a new place and made new memories along the way.
The strangest thing I saw...... Cobwebs growing on the credit card slot on the gas pump in a gas station at Marietta, OH.
Went to Walmart on the way...... wasn't planned... was actually looking for a gas station and found a huge Walmart instead.... decided to make use of the opportunity to shop at a new place.
Knock on wood!!! My l'il red humbug is doing quite well for herself!!

Freud developed Psychoanalysis based on the notion that people store information in a part of their minds that they are unaware of. One of the most famous techniques he developed in association with Joseph Breuer was "Free Association" or talking about anything that is on your mind. This kind of talking was to be done without any interruptions or guidance. It was spontaneous. The belief was that this would help bring painful thoughts and feelngs that had been pushed into the unconscious, into the conscious. This led to the theory of catharsis or the "talking cure" - talking about painful things makes it easier for people to deal with it.
The typical client- counselor scene in movies is representative of the use of free association. The client lies down on a couch and the counselor or psychologist sits behind them (out of the client's view) This set up was meant to aid the client's ability to freely associate without the hinderance of the therapist's presence.

Its well known that bad things happen in threes..... Why? Thats what I want to know..... Hasn't anyone heard of the other adage "2s company, 3s a crowd." I wish it would apply to the latter as well. Apparently the bad stuff is no good if its not fun... I don't know how bad stuff can be fun unless you are playing an evil prank on someone. I must be cursed. One of the kids I work with mentioned that for some reason good people are always expected to do the right thing and if they don't they are punished while those who actually do do bad things appear to get away scott free..... (I work with adolescents and adults who are addicts) Its true! And like my clients I don't understand why. But there is another old belief "Trust in the universe. What goes around comes around." I hate it though when people very serenely say "Maybe this is where you are meant to be at this point."