I realised that driving in India required a certain skill when I returned after a year in the US. My first question, on the way home from the airport was, "Don't people here know how to drive in lanes?" I was labelled "American-return snob". My second question, two nights later, while I was driving my mother's car, was, "Are there lines on the road? I can't see any. Give me my suglasses, those headlights are too bright." Gleefully my sister narrated this incident to my father, who promptly told me he didn't think I should drive my mother's car at night "for a little while atleast".


There is a graduation process to drive in India. You begin with riding a bicycle that you have to pedal manually and move on to one with an engine and needs petrol. These contraptions are small enough to fit into any small space and get you ahead of the pack. This space could be just 6 inches wide, which is fine until you get crushed like chutney. You then start using 3 wheelers and still think they are as small as cycles and still try to push your way through. Finally you start driving a bus. At this point you realize that you can do what you want to get ahead and there better not be anyone or anything in your way because they will be pulverized. Size does matter apparently!

On the bright side, I like to think people leave home with suicide notes in their pockets. Nice of them really, thinking of other people, just to let them know what happened. Something short and sweet like, "I was stupid. I killed myself. I drove my bike into a parked car. Don't worry, I have a life insurance policy!"

If you are driving in Pune though regardless of what your mode of transport is, get out of the way of a bus. They always - and I mean always - stop within a centimeter of anything trying to cross their path. And that is if they stop!

On a recent trip to Sri Lanka, I noticed that people follow rules and regulations. This small island country is made up of narrow roads, one ways, strange intersections (which were truly an enigma) and yet, everyone was disciplined. Buses let cars go ahead, people crossed the road without the fear of being run over-everything was civilized. Of course, they do have stringent security measures and a law that allows the police and the army to shoot-on-sight or site (whichever one applies!). Maybe we should try that here! There is no need to beat up people with a lathi. Too much effort! Just shoot them! Just a thought.....