So I have decided to dedicate my Friday posts to a certain Chennai Socialite named Madam M. Actually its more about what I think about what she writes in her column than her. Why, you may ask? After all do I really care about her? No I do not, but the rubbish she writes is hilarious. Since it is Friday, maybe I should start with her previous columns. Its in no particular order, although it does deserve to be.

Madam M loves name dropping everyone from Al Gore to the GM of the Taj to some Australian High Commissioner. Today's article was about Al Gore and how she told herself that "patience is a virtue." Taj Coramandel is in the process of renovating its lobby. However due to Al Gore's visit they opened it and invited a select few to a cocktail party. So along went Madam M. Mind you, Al Gore was not supposed to be at the party and was due to depart at midnight. So she actually, "patiently" stayed till then so that she could meet him, shake his hand and take a photo with him. He is a former US vice president, isn't he?! Oh, what a coup for Indulge (Indian Express supplement) for their 3rd Anniversary issue!!! I wonder if she would do that for KM or Joy Lolita. Hmmm...

Two articles I loved reading had to do with her summer holidays abroad. Being a socialite and all why would you stay and torture yourself in the sweltering heat? So where did she go? She went to London to visit the Queen. Well, nearly... I think the guards stopped her. So she did the next best thing-she behaved like THE QUEEN! She watched Wimbledon and the Ascot Derby and behaved more British than the British themselves. Gave them quite a run for their money. She and her friends reserved their own table ( you can't at these events), picked fights with the English and passed nasty derogatory comments about them, in front of them. I suppose that is better than talking behind someone's back.

Another article I loved was the one she wrote after attending a friend's 60th birthday party thrown by the children. Of course, there were speeches that went on and on. Naturally, people began to get bored. Basic rule when planning an event, no matter how much you love the guest of honor, NEVER LET THE OTHER GUESTS GET BORED. Well, the other guests began to talk amongst themselves. Madam M got upset and decided to mention it in her Friday column-"when will Indians ever learn to listen and not talk. Don't they know it is rude to talk when loved ones are making fond speeches at a party." You are an Indian too, M darling! And before you throw stones at glasshouses maybe you should look in the mirror before you leave the house.