OOPS.......


Cover letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."

*That's what we're afraid of.

Resume: "It is my professional objective to obtain a position which allows me to make use of my commuter skills."

*I think we can oblige.

Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."

*Sounds uncomfortable

Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing pleasure."

*We can hardly wait.

Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."

*We'll try not to let it go to our heads.

Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."

*Good luck with that.

Experience: "10 years of experience in financail budgiting and transactions rigistering."

*But limited experience with the spell-check function.

Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."

*If you insist.

Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my resume for your consumption."

*Yum.

Skills: "Grate communication skills."

*Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?

Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting, screening, interviewing and executing final candidates."

*Seems kind of harsh

Cover letter: "Salary demanded - Rs 2 lakhs per month."

*Would you like that in 50s or 100s?

Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

*Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?

Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."

*Did you minor in ear piercing?

Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more appalling to employers."

*We're pretty shocked already ...

Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable."

*Glad to hear it.

Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

*At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.

Cover letter: "Experienced in all faucets of accounting."

*That should help with the flow of information.