DId you know that Murphy (of Murphy's law fame) was an optimist?
NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED THERE IS ALWAYS ONE MORE BUG
LEAKPROOF SEALS-WILL. SELF STARTERS - WILL NOT
NATURE IS A MOTHER.
DON'T MESS WITH MRS. MURPHY.
ALL WARRANTIES EXPIRE UPON PAYMENT OF INVOICE.
WHERE YOU STAND ON AN ISSUE DEPENDS ON WHERE YOU SIT.
90% OF EVERYTHING IS CRUD.
IF YOU'RE FEELING GOOD, DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL GET OVER IT.
NEVER EAT PRUNES WHEN YOU ARE FAMISHED.
FRIENDS COME AND GO BUT ENEMIES ACCUMULATE
ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG, WILL GO WRONG.
IF YOU TRY TO PLEASE EVERYBODY, NOBODY WILL LIKE IT.
A SHORT CUT IS THE LONGEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS.
YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING IN THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK.
YOU WILL REMEMBER THAT YOU FORGOT TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH WHEN THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS TWO DOORS AWAY.
THE CHANCE OF A PIECE OF BREAD FALLING WITH THE BUTTERED SIDE DOWN IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO THE COST OF THE CARPET.
THE RACE IS NOT ALWAYS TO THE SWIFT NOR THE BATTLE TO THE STRONG BUT THAT'S THE WAY TO BET.
NO MATTER HOW LONG OR HARD YOU SHOP FOR AN ITEM, AFTER YOU'VE BOUGHT IT , IT WILL BE ON SALE SOMEWHERE CHEAPER.
THERE'S NEVER TIME TO DO IT RIGHT, BUT THERE'S ALWAYS TIME TO DO IT OVER.
NO ONE'S LIFE, LIBERTY OR PROSPERITY ARE SAFE WHEN THE LEGISLATURE IS IN SESSION.
ANYTHING GOOD IN LIFE IS EITHER ILLEGAL, IMMORAL OR FATTENING.
THE OTHER LINE ALWAYS MOVES FASTER.
IT IS MORALLY WRONG TO ALLOW SUCKERS TO KEEP THEIR MONEY.
IN ORDER TO GET A LOAN YOU MUST FIRST PROVE YOU DON'T NEED IT.
A BIRD IN HAND IS SAFER THAN ONE OVERHEAD.
ANYTHING YOU TRY TO FIX WILL TAKE LONGER AND COST MORE THAN YOU THOUGHT.
MURPHY'S GOLDEN RULE : WHOEVER HAS THE GOLD MAKES THE RULES.
IF YOU FOOL AROUND WITH A THING FOR VERY LONG YOU WILL SCREW IT UP.
EVERYTHING EAST OF THE SAN ANDREAS FAULT WILL EVENTUALLY PLUNGE INTO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.
A $300 PICTURE TUBE WILL PROTECT A 10c FUSE BY BLOWING FIRST.
NATURE WILL ALWAYS SIDE WITH THE HIDDEN FLAW.
IF IT JAMS - FORCE IT.
IF IT BREAKS - IT NEEDED REPLACING ANYWAY.